There are those on Facebook that I am "friends" with. It's a term loosely thrown around these days, like saying I Love You to everyone and anyone. Even guys are saying that to one another, to prove how macho and secure in their masculinity they are. I do enjoy exchanging my morning salutations with who ever chooses to answer. I began typing in a simple Good Morning some years back as a means of being social because, well, it is social media. It has evolved into somewhat of a morning ritual. All my friends responding in time throughout the day.
Now a number of those friends I have on Facebook I have never met in person. There are those I only know through past associations with their friends or families. There are those that went to the same school as I did, sometimes in the same year and class, but I wouldn't have called them friends back then. It wasn't that I didn't like them or anything like that, we just didn't hang out together. Then there are those that I only recognize by a family name. It is surprising to me how many had brothers and sisters that I didn't know about. I'm surprised at how many cousins I had in school and was unaware of that. Somehow, I have 369 names on my friends list. And I don't accept every friend request sent my way, and so that is rather surprising as well. Out of the 369 I'd say I only really know about thirty or so.
I was thinking about that this morning after responding to someone. My thought was I consider these folks friends and they are some of the best ones. Then I realized the reason for that. I really know so little about them. Our interaction has always been a simple exchange of pleasantries. Polite conversation you could call it. It rather reminds me of the 1960's when people did observe the rules of what I call, polite company. You didn't discuss politics or religion. It wasn't that those subjects weren't mentioned, they certainly were, but no argument or debate followed. You either agreed with what was said or you didn't but you kept that to yourself, for the most part. Of course, if you were in agreement you could let that be known, to strengthen the friendship. If you didn't, often times you just excused yourself and moved on.
There is nothing like getting too personal with someone to ruin a good friendship. It may sound strange but it is the truth of the matter. It's my feeling that is a part of the problem today. Everyone wants to be in everyone else's business. That's bad enough but when you are constantly trying to force your business on others that really exacerbates the situation. There are some things I would just as soon I didn't know. Yes, you could say I keep some things in the closet. I have found that to be a prudent thing to do on many occasions. I'll share that with you when the time is right, if ever it is right. It's true that each of us are a unique individual and as such we have our foible's. It isn't usually a good idea to expose them.
With all the talk today about DEI and prejudices and biases it seems many have missed the point. In order to have meaningful dialogue you have to hold somethings back. If you alienate the other person they surely aren't going to consider your thoughts, ideas or ideology. You will be summarily dismissed. At least that is what I do. When I have determined no further discussion with you will be fruitful in any way, you are dismissed. It's like reading a book. Some you will just sit down and others you will read time and time again. It isn't about hate, it's about what you feel is beneficial to yourself.
We have all heard the expression put your cards on the table. The meaning being, show your hand, complete transparency in todays' jargon. It is also the end of the game. That seems to be what people are missing in that scenario. If you wish others to continue to interact with you, you can't show them all your cards at once. The rule of the game can't be, I win. Friendship is a gradual thing, not established all at once. Attempting to do that can be an overwhelming experience. Too much, too soon. Allow the other person time to decide if they want to join in or go another direction. Friends walk alongside one another. It's the same way with a happy marriage.
I do discriminate. Yes, I don't accept every friend request that appears on my Facebook page. I seldom go look at a person profile page, I place as much trust in that as I do the evening news these days. If I do not know the name, it isn't familiar in any way, I will dismiss that request. You could say I'm just a bit suspicious. I would call it being prudent. I realize there are those out there attempting to gain access to my account for nefarious reasons. I also know they would be sorely disappointed if they did, but I'll just keep'em guessing. I judge, I discriminate, and I make no apologies for any of that. I don't have friends of a different race, a different religion, or a different sexual orientation, I just have friends. I may or may not know about any of those traits. I may agree or disagree with any one of those traits. It really does depend upon the person and how they interact with me. I don't like lima beans. If you invite me to dinner do not insist I try them, I won't; and I won't be coming to dinner again. That's how that works.
"Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm and constant." (Socrates)
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