an inner instinct

  I have met a few old classmates while on Facebook, those that I knew in school but never really knew all that much. I'm sure you know what I mean. We all travel in our own little circles. When we are children those circles form, although we do have a tendency to more readily accept others into that circle, that changes as we grow older. We all become a bit more, say we say, selective in our relationships. Something that is in the headlines quite a bit these days with all this talk of inclusivity. Now, as adults some have decided that exercising discretion is somehow a fault. And that is what I call that when I choose to disassociate myself from others. Discretion is the better part of valor, and life needn't be a battle.

 Today we are seeing the political divide as the greatest influencer when it comes to being "friends." I suppose that has always been true although we were quite unaware of that when we were kids. It was our parents that exerted the most influence back then, warning us to avoid certain individuals that were nothing but trouble. In many cases that advice was based solely on our parents impression of the other parents. The fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. As small children we begin to gain an understanding of our position in this world. That position is based upon our parents. Professionals, white collar workers, blue collar workers, and those on the fringes. 

 As we grow we are attracted to others for a variety of reasons. The guys tend to gather in groups that share a like interest and abilities. I'm certain the girls are doing the same. Then hormones enter the picture and the attraction becomes more physical than mental. Interestingly, that is also the time your parents will start warning you about those that are a bad influence. Those are always the kids that seem like the most fun to be around. Pushing those proverbial boundaries, stepping out of line is an exciting prospect. It's a time when we are most concerned with risk and reward. 

 There are those, especially in school, that we never really approach. Either we are not interested in them or we feel like the risk isn't worth the reward. I would like to ride on that motorcycle, but I was told not to, the risk of being caught outweighing that urge to climb aboard. I would like to take that girl out on a date but I'm certain I would be rejected, just don't ask and you won't be disappointed. It's all risk and reward. It is strange how many years later, years where you haven't seen or had any interaction with those folks, you connect again but with a feeling like you know them. It's almost the same as associating yourself with some celebrity, it somehow makes you a better person for it. At least it does to others that do not know that "celebrity" or in this case, a classmate.

 I'm sure I'm not unique in this feeling. How many of us grow up and move away? The ones that stayed are admired for that, even when we don't admit that out loud. Many times I wish I had stayed the course, stayed in my hometown, raised a family and gained that status. That wasn't to be my lot in life, I made different choices. Oh I could go on and on about why, but the bottom line is, that is what I did. I don't regret it but probably would do it differently given the chance. Well, that's only if I knew the outcome before the act was done, without that, I would do it exactly the same way. And that is the fantasy of yesterday. The what if. 

  What I was thinking about this morning before I began writing this little essay was old classmates. As I said I have met a few here on Facebook that I never really knew very well. Those I didn't hang out with or have very much interaction with beyond the class. It wasn't that I didn't like them, it was just we never made a connection. You can't dislike someone you don't know. And something else I have learned is that you don't have to dislike someone, to not become their friend. There does seem to be some inner instinct that guides us in that regard. I say that now because there have been a few classmates I have met on Facebook that didn't know me then, came to know me a little bit on Facebook, and decided they just don't like me. Well, perhaps don't like me is a bit overstated, they just choose to not hang out with me. Nothing much has changed in over fifty years. We are in the same class, but in a different place. Well all I can say is your parents probably warned you about kids like me, it's your own fault.