My way

  Does the motivation define the action? It's a question I have given a great deal of thought to over the years. Usually that happens following some perceived transgression. Today we hear a lot about "gaslighting", it's the modern hip way to say, you lied to me. A form of deception designed to make me second guess my own perception of things. It may indeed be your point of view (pov) but that doesn't always make it correct or mine. See that preface a great deal today as well, (pov) as though that excuses the action. Semantic are playing a pivotal role in society today, more so than ever, in my point of view. See how that just slides right in there? It's almost a mandate that you have to accept that as a fact. It's a fact I said that, it isn't necessarily a fact. 

  I read where gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse. Well, okay then. In my world emotional abuse will usually result in a physical reaction. The struggle for me is to control that emotional response. I didn't know I was being gaslighted as a child on the playground, I did know when I was being bullied. I also knew how to respond to that! Depending upon the situation, the person doing the bullying and a few other circumstances or situations, I would respond in my own best interest. I could either handle it myself or request backup. I wasn't questioning my sanity, reality or memory. I still don't. It's true that any gaslighting I may be subjected to today is mainly on social media and I can simply block that, that is the benefit of living in your own little world behind a keyboard. Lots of folks doing just that. The bandwagon has a new name, social media.

  I was thinking about motivations however and what motivates a person to act in the way they do. It's my feeling everyone acts in a way to benefit themselves in some fashion, and that is the simple truth of it. Many would "gaslight" us wanting us to believe otherwise, that they are being empathetic. They very well may be experiencing empathy, feeling what others feel. That isn't an action however, it's an emotion. The true motivation is in having others recognize that, that is why it is so important to those folks to insist you should be doing exactly the same, feel the same way. If you don't, you are a bad person. It's emotional abuse. You can see the response, it is quite obvious. An emotional response sometimes accompanied with a physical one. The physical response either being a "protest" or a "riot" depending upon your motivations for doing so. 

 What I'm thinking about, the question in general, is do motivations matter? Does it make a difference what the intent was or are results the only thing of importance? A line from a song says the road to hell is paved with good intentions and I get that. When good intentions create bad outcomes should you still be held accountable? Well, that's the official line isn't it, forgive and forget. Isn't that the ultimate goal of gaslighting? I want you to respond in the fashion I dictate. The motivation being, I get my way. That's what we really all want. We all want it our way. "For what is a man, what has he got, if not himself, then he has naught, to say the things he truly feels, and not the words of one who kneels, the record shows I took the blows and did it my way." I wasn't gaslighted. That's what I'm talking about!